18th of April? Sad or Happiness?

one year ago,

on march 2010,

the day dat i got my spm result,

i ran from home..

actually dad asked me too..

cos both of us cant stand my mom anymore..

she was devastated with my spm results..

due to my "luck"(yeah i call luck) in UPRS, PMR, n SPM trial,

she was expecting her second daughter to score like she usually did,

like her other children do..

STRAIGHT freaking As

but..

i flunked..

i dint get wt she wants

had several Bs on my certificate..

she was so furious,

dt she cant even looked at my face..

i stayed at Sya's house several days..

bt smhw,

i dint cry..

at all..

not even one tear..

y?

even mysef cant answer dt question..

i dont know..

i went home after she called me..

she called me back to talk about my future..

apparently she had sent my resume to Uncle Aris..

without my acknowledgement..

she was trying to get me SHELL's scholarship..

A few weeks later uncle called me..

i was accepted..

two days later,

i got the letter..

instruction for doing my A level here..

i know.. i was accepted not in the right way..

Uncle used his power..

trough 'cable' m actually accepted to further my studies..

under chemical engineering..

i told her..

i love biology..

a lot..

not chemistry..

i hate it..

damn lot..

mom was determined..

kakman chose music over her med A level..

she said, kakman had ardy throw her future away,

she wont let me throw mine,

nt as long as she's alive..

she wont compromise wt me being persistent to enter d media world..

n again..

dad sent me to Sya's house..

ds time,

i was as determined as mom..

i know,

by taking c.eng,

i'll kill my future..

i wont succeed..

i know my ability..

i cant move foward..

i hate chemistry..

i cant go further..

m sure of dt..

n..

i chose media..

even tho mom dint sent me to Uni on registration day,

even tho mom dint actually stepped her foot in UiTM Malacca till this day,

i still choose media..

n nw,

11th april..

its actually another 7 days frm the date dt i actually shud fly..

fly away frm m'sia,

if

IF

i chose A level frm d start..

i dnt knw y,

bt, smhw,

i feel like i wanna cry..

did i actually made the right choice?

did i actually waste the opportunity?

GOD!

i dont know..

i dont know wt to say..

ARGHH!!

BENCI!!

tidiness is a must?

bilik kemas is a must for a girl?

pasti lah..

it portrays ur own hygiene practice..

n dnt talk bout hygiene if u x amalkan kekemasan..

frankly, mcmana nak bersih kalau kemas pun xkan?

now lets talk bout the main issue here..

can you actually live in a messy room?

after living for 18 years n seen much,

d answer is,

yeah..

shockingly,some of us can..

they live happily,

without noticing the messiness..

xfaham la, dgn baju sana sini,

tisu bekas guna slerak sana sini,

dust everywhere,

floor covered with dirts..

frankly answer d question,

which one you prefer..

this room..

or this one

frankly, kalau xcantik pun,

kalau its in order pun dah tenang kan rasa hati?

baru la slesa nak tidur=)

ape salah kalau setiap kali bangun,

tarik cadar bg kemas,

tepuk bantal kasi gebu,

baju kotor letak dalam bakul,

benda yg dah guna letak tmpatnya smula..

kan hidup lebih teratur..

nak cari barang pun mudah..

life is not dt hard..

its up to us nak susahkan atau mudahkan..

neway ppl, amalkan tidiness,

pasti kita lagi smangat nak hidupkan?

=)

big bully..

on my way home with abg arir, kak kin n syeera..

then a big lorry came n tried to pinned us to the side of the road..

abg arir honked the contenna..

then the lorry slowed down and looked straight towards each of us..

at that time..

my heart dint feel good..

god, there's smthing bad going to happen..

then d driver smiled,

abg arir sped to 140 to get away from that lorry

then that lorry actually chased us..

with high beam,

abg arir was blinded by the light

the distance btween the bumpers was less then 40cm..

god, i tot i was a gonner..

nothing came out from my mouth accept

subbahanallah abg arir.. speed lagi..

dah dkt sangat ni..

syeera was also screaming, so was kak kin..

the moment he hit our car,

nothing came out to my mind except

mom..

n

papa..

i was actually reciting d shahadah..

now i realized..

the reason i live is for my mom n papa..

n the cause of my life is..

god..

Allahuakhbar,

God is the Al-mighty..

we went out unhurt..

even though badly shaken with the tragedy,

none were hurt..

god,

i love you..

queer? yes, i am..

ok, jz called my girl jz nw..

n i was boasting that m actually going to bake some cakes today..

her replied was..

xyah blagak la pkah,

goreng telur pun xpas=.=

nak kuning telur tu perfect,

tp xmampu=.=

minyak tepercik percik=.=

pakaian waktu menggoreng pulak,

ha..

mengalahkan orang nak berperang..

berbalut semua..

nak elak minyak katakan=.=

tp ha...

kan god had promise that evry each of us have his or her own speciality=)

and in this case,

god never forget bout me either=)

may be m not good at frying,

but at least,

i can bake

cup cake yg first..

naik!! naik!!yea!! gebu!! hehe!!

hepi cuppy cake evryone=)

stuck up ppl speaks english?

all of us know that English is an international language..

mastering ds particular language is actually an act of putting ur leg towards success..

however, if you realize it or not,

if any of u speak eng in public,

the chances of you being mock is high..

you might even be labelled as

belagak

perasan

murtad negara

xingat asal usul

pembelot

nak tunjuk hebat

n so on..

is it wrong to communicate in eng??

frankly saying, even though eng is not my mother tongue,

but its the main language that i n family use for our daily communication..

frankly, the reason that i usually refuse to speak malay is that

the only languages that i can speak are english, german, n kedahan..

yes..

kedahan..

m actually learning to speak like kl-lites..

for someone who's staying 18years in Kedah,

it is hard for her to soften her tongue into kl's language

ye ker??

bace??

ape??

sape??

bole??

eh?

bole?

ha.. bole pun boleh..

main bole sepak jom..

sumpah kena gelak..

aku still ingat..

d first two wiks i spent in Malacca was hell..

my pelek kedah was so pure..(piaw punya oqang kata)

i faced a hard time communicating with others..

it was hard for ppl actually to understand me..

i was asking my fren to pass me the water bottle

"irene, pas sat botoi ayaq, lapaq ayaq la"

n all of them actually laughed at my slang..

starting from that,

i spoke totally in english for the rest of the two weeks..

then masalah baqu pulak datang..

kawan2 suma pakat xmau dekat sebab takut,

depa kata depa ingat aku oqang blagak..

speaking memanjang..

sumpah cakap.. penat nak puas kan hati oqang ni..

cakap hattu salah, hatni pun salah.. pening..

mmg kelemahan aku nak cakap kl..

slalu gagap..

but then i realized

knapa aku nak pikiaq apa oqang kata..

penat ja mak mengandung 9 bulan tp last2 jadi loser kan?

bak pepatah sendiri, tebalkan taik tlinga, anda pasti bahagia=)

to frens out there, jgn la malu2 speaking k?

kebaikan untuk diri jugak<3

hey, new world=)

yeah, it's weird finding myself pouring out my thoughts through blogging rather than sitting on my crooked chair(given by UiTM=.= nt complaining anyway=) and write emotionally into my journal..

hell, i just realize life has change..

how i've changed, to be exact..

living far from family somehow thought me the greatest experience so far.. i am no longer have that kind of hot arse that blows up every 5 minutes over silly things.. anger is no longer controlling me.. and somehow thank god, im surviving and trying hard in learning to be a matured person than i used to be=)